Sitting In Your Singledom

How cool are you with being alone? No, really.

Dating yourself is arguably the most freeing thing you can possibly do to nourish yourself on a soul level. Stop waiting to be romanced and swoop your own self up. That idea you have for a perfect date, go do it. What the hell are you waiting for?

It’s so common for women to idealize love, getting totally consumed by the dating game. As a society, we are dominated by messaging that promotes partnership and shames singles. Being aware of this programming is the first and biggest step in learning how to celebrate your single status.

Leading from lack is seldom the answer to getting what you want. What if instead of presenting forlorn energy, rushing to snatch up a partner, you just sat in the void in total trust? What if you even (gasp) liked it a little? After all, you have the sofa to yourself, there’s nobody you’re obligated to share your food with, and there’s no need to discuss what movie you’re going to see. Feel that sense of limitlessness!

Chew on this: what if what you’re feeling isn’t a sense of loneliness but of boredom? That’s a much easier fix, after all. Perhaps it isn’t that you need a partner, but that you need to find exciting new things to engage with. Go to an art exhibit you’ve been dying to see, check out that new restaurant for a cute solo lunch, try a new workout to spice things up, maybe cook yourself a gorgeous three-course meal, take yourself to your favorite indie bookshop, go for a walk and smell some flowers! Engage your senses and remind yourself that life is rich.

Of course then there’s the inevitable self-love piece of this puzzle. How in the world do you expect someone to love you if you can’t even stand being alone with yourself? Don’t give into the shame if this is the case; take it as a beautiful signal from above that you can find deeper love within. Invite in the opportunity to date yourself!