Rockbottom me, baby.

She’s baaackkk. Life Coach & self-love mentor, Caitlin Bebb, chats to us about the importance of embracing change as those miraculous shifts that transform us into higher being. She offers actionables to do just that. It’s this reframe that takes you from rock-bottom to sky high. If you let it :)

The only thing we can count on is change.

The first time I came across this notion, it was like a flash of lightning. I realized that for so much of my life I’d been resisting the inevitable: change. 

Growing up my Mom used to tell me “you’re not good with transitions.” I wasn’t sure what she meant exactly, except that she was allowing space for me to have feelings about XYZ changing...  

Now I know that from the beginning I was a little control freak who wanted everything my way (Hi, Capricorn moon). Feeling in control or knowing what to expect gave me a feeling of peace. And then later in adulthood, while on a journey to learn and grow and discover more of my authentic self, I found that this was a false peace. Real peace is found not in any of our external circumstances, but within ourselves. 

Look at nature: plants, seasons... There are cycles, we have an idea of when the snow will start to melt, or when the leaves will change, but it’s not set in stone. There’s always unpredictability within the blueprint. We build sandcastles at the beach, knowing that our work is temporary, the tide will eventually take it away. Maybe we take a picture to remember the day, but we aren’t sad about it. It was part of the plan all along…

How do we get there more often, intrinsically? 

Ask yourself questions and get to the root. Things like “how am I feeling?” Ok… “when have I experienced this before?” Dig past the surface to richer soil… what’s down there? Usually, the answer is fear. 

Fear of the unknown = lack of safety. Which made a lot of sense when we were hunting and foraging… but now? Those primal instincts still live in our body when we’re perfectly safe. These moments are opportunities for mindfulness. To return to the present. Check in. How’s my temperature? Do I need to move a bit? Drink a glass of water? Eat something? Turn the phone off? Making sure your basic needs are met. 

AND - You’re allowed to have more than just your basic needs met. You’re allowed an expansive life - however you conceive that to be. 

Ask yourself what IS and IS NOT in your control.

Got fired from your job? Amazing. Was it your fault? Doesn’t matter. You have control of your actions and behavior going forward. You can take what you learned in that environment and access what worked and didn’t work for you. 

Terrible breakup? Congratulations! There’s nothing like heartache as a catalyst for growth. It’s a chance to take inventory. A forced shift in How things Were. And now you get to be the pilot of How Things Will Be… 

Forced to move out of your home? Great. Our physical spaces hold a lot of energy. Is moving a pain in the ass? Absolutely. But it doesn't have to be terrible. It can be a project you break down into smaller parts. It can be an experience where you give yourself evidence of how strong you are. 

Remind yourself the purpose behind the change.

In business they talk about knowing your “Why.” This is the reason you’re doing what you’re doing. This is your north star to hold onto when things get rocky. Remembering where, perhaps a new behavior feels difficult, you look to your bigger, future vision. 

Clarity doesn’t have to mean certainty. You can have a feeling about something and go after it, and your “success” or achievement is not guaranteed. This doesn’t mean that there wasn’t value in the pursuit of the thing. With each brave risk we take, we invite ourselves to newness and discovery. 

Don’t ask for advice (at first).

There’s incredible power in keeping things private. It’s a natural response to run to your partner, parent, or best friend when big life stuff comes up. 

Learning to listen to your intuition, your inner knowing, gives you a foundation. It strengthens your resilience the more and more you learn to trust yourself. 

One of the biggest reasons people don’t try new things is the idea “but what will people think?” It’s your life. What other people think really doesn’t matter. It’s your responsibility to yourself to honor where you feel called and try to go there. 

Look for people who have been on the journey.

One way to give our brains evidence that something is possible, is to seek out people who have done it already. 

Before I left NYC a year ago and moved to a small town in the mountains, I closely followed (via Instagram) a woman who had packed up her life and made a big similar move on her own. Witnessing a real person (even though I don’t “know” her), have a positive outcome to a change I’d been seeking allowed me to daydream that my outcome could be the same. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Ultimately our thoughts on “change” come down to our mindset towards it. 

It doesn’t have to be good or bad. We get to decide where we place those values. We get to experience the dance of being human - we try things, we seek, we experiment…and co-create with the things bigger than us. It’s a beautiful thing. And we get to experience such freedom and peace when we lean in and enjoy the ride. d